064: The Hidden Lesson in a "D"

My middle son took Organic Chemistry (Orgo) 1 and 2 last year at Villanova. He’s a civil engineering major, but he loves chemistry, and he’s worked in the chemistry lab on campus for the past two years.

He got a C in Orgo 1 and a D+ in Orgo 2.

When he told me, I asked him two questions:

1. Did you do your best?
   
2. Do you know more now than when you started?

The answer to both was yes.

The Struggle

Those courses were brutal. He wrestled with the material weekly, sought extra help, and debated multiple times over each semester if he should drop the class altogether. He worried constantly about how the grades would affect his GPA and his scholarship.

Meanwhile, his civil engineering classes, the core of his major, were going well. He excelled in them, which made the chemistry struggle even more discouraging. By all traditional measures, it seemed like Orgo was a “failure.”

But here’s the thing: he kept showing up. 

He kept working. He learned more chemistry, built resilience, and practiced what it means to wrestle with something hard, even if the grade didn’t reflect the effort.

The Parent Perspective

As a parent, I knew he needed to hear something important: It’s okay not to get an A.

That doesn’t mean lowering expectations. It means recognizing that real learning often looks messy. 

It means valuing productive struggle… the kind that stretches us, frustrates us, and ultimately teaches us how to persevere.

It means understanding that a transcript can’t capture curiosity, persistence, or the courage to stay in the game when dropping the class might feel easier.

The Bigger Question

This makes me wonder about the mentality we hold, as parents, students, and educators, around grades and hard work.

• Do we only celebrate the polished “A,” or do we also value the grit it takes to fight for a “C”?
• How do we balance scholarship requirements, GPA pressures, and career pathways with the deeper truth that learning is about growth, not perfection?
• What message do we convey when we equate grades with worth, rather than treating them as one part of a much larger picture?

My son’s experience in Orgo was humbling for him and a valuable lesson for me.
It was a reminder that grades don’t always tell the whole story. 

Sometimes, the real success is hidden in the struggle.