066: 5 SEL Skills, 2nd Grade, 1 Afternoon

When my son, Jared, was in second grade, I came home from work to find him sitting on the couch. His head was down, his arms folded across his lap, and he looked upset.

“Jared, what’s going on?” I asked.

He sighed and said, “I had a really bad day at school today.”

This was unusual. Jared loved school, so hearing that he’d had a bad day caught my attention.

Naming the Feeling/Emotion

I pressed gently: “What happened?”

He answered, “I was really… “ pausing as he tried to find the correct word, “overheated today at school.”

Overheated? He had never used that word before. 

So I asked him to describe it.

“My arms and legs were tingly, my stomach was upset… I was just… overheated!”

That’s when it clicked. Jared was doing something remarkable: he was developing emotional literacy. Emotional literacy is part of the first SEL competency, self-awareness. 

He had noticed that something in his body felt different, even if he didn’t yet have the precise word for it.

With a little more conversation, we discovered what “overheated” really meant: 

Jared was frustrated.
His class had been assigned to write a two-paragraph essay, and he didn’t want to do it.

Managing the Moment

So I asked, “What did you do when you felt overheated?”

This is the second SEL component: self-management.
This is the moment when students must decide how to act on what they feel.

There are so many possible responses to frustration.
Throwing something. Yelling. Refusing to participate. Shutting down.

I held my breath, waiting for him to tell me what he did when he felt “overheated.”

I exhaled in relief when he replied, “I put my head down on my desk and took a deep breath.”

He had found a safe, productive way to calm himself.
I told him how proud I was of that choice.

A Teacher’s Keen Awareness

Jared shared the next part of the story. His teacher, Mrs. Coffee, told the whole class to put their pencils down and stand up. She led them through a brain break, shaking out arms and legs, moving in silly ways to reset their focus.

She realized Jared hadn’t been the only one feeling “overheated.” That’s social awareness; the ability to read the room, recognize what others are feeling, and respond with empathy.

And she didn’t just notice. She acted. She drew on her positive relationships with her students, gave them tools to manage stress, and made a responsible decision that supported both learning and well-being.

The SEL Connection

In one afternoon, Jared’s experience illustrated all five components of SEL in action:

• Self-Awareness: Jared noticed something different in his body and gave it a name.
• Self-Management: He chose to take a deep breath instead of acting out.
• Social Awareness: Mrs. Coffee recognized the same feelings across her classroom.
• Relationship Skills: She used trust and connection to guide her students through it.
• Responsible Decision-Making: She shifted the class activity, giving her students space to reset and return ready to learn.

Try This Tomorrow

• Listen for student language. Pay attention to the unique ways students describe their feelings (like Jared’s “overheated”). Use their words as an entry point for building emotional vocabulary.
• Model self-management. When frustration rises, guide students in a quick strategy: a deep breath, a head down, or a stretch.
• Build in brain breaks. Proactively include short movement or reset moments to help the whole class recalibrate when tension builds.

Small strategies practiced consistently prepare students to navigate much bigger challenges with resilience.

Why This Matters

These aren’t just “nice to have” skills. They are the foundation for how we navigate frustration, manage stress, build healthy relationships, and make choices that carry us forward in school and beyond.

Jared’s “overheated” moment reminded me that SEL isn’t abstract.
It’s real.
It’s in the words students choose, the breaths they take, and the decisions teachers make to help them thrive.

Reflection

• What language do your students use to describe their emotions? How might you build on it?
• How do you respond when you notice a student becoming “overheated”?
• What small, intentional moves can help your students reset when frustration builds?

Because when we slow down enough to notice and act, we don’t just help students manage a moment, we equip them with skills for a lifetime.