036: UnFROGettable Mrs. Y

I was in third grade when my family moved to a new school district. It was just after winter break, and my new classmates had already settled into their routines, inside jokes, and lunch table rituals. I arrived as "the new kid"—unsure of where to sit, what to say, or even how to feel.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t a teacher or a student who made me feel like I belonged.

It was Mrs. Yacovelli, the school secretary who ran the front office with equal parts warmth and efficiency. Every time I walked through the office doors, she greeted me with a huge smile and kind words. Her face would light up like she had been waiting just for me.

In those early days, I didn’t realize what was happening.

But now I know:
I wasn’t just being welcomed. I was being seen.

By fourth grade, I had figured out the classroom job rotation system. If you "passed" on a job one month, you got to choose first the next. So, every other month, I passed, just so I could pick the job of taking the daily attendance list to Mrs. Yacovelli.

It gave me a reason to visit her office and feel that same warm welcome all over again.

When I was ten, I received a beginner’s biology kit and proudly carried my dissected frog, pinned open on a wooden board, into school, eager to share it with someone who would care. Of course, I chose Mrs. Yacovelli. She smiled, nodded, and asked questions as I pointed out the organs. Only years later did she admit that it took everything in her not to wince. When she retired, I gave her a giant stuffed frog. It was our private joke... and a symbol of her steady presence in my life.

I kept visiting her every year: through middle school, high school, college, and even into my first job. She was a consistent, caring adult in my life—long after my days as “the new kid” had faded.

For years, I’ve studied the research on Developmental Relationships from the Search Institute in Minneapolis. One key finding stands out:

"All it takes is one caring, consistent adult to make a difference in a child’s life."
— Scales & Leffert

That was Mrs. Yacovelli for me.

She didn’t need a formal title or teaching certification to create impact.
She made a difference because she showed up—with kindness, with consistency, and with genuine care.

The Developmental Relationships framework gives all of us a pathway for building powerful, positive connections with young people.
It reminds us that helping students “be and become their best selves” isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about everyday interactions.

So I ask you:
Who was your Mrs. Yacovelli?

And more importantly:
How can you be that steady presence for someone else?